Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Even actual suffering brings me no joy.....

Prayer of a Chronically Ill Person

Lord, the day is drawing to a close, and like all the other days, it leaves with me the impression of utter defeat. I have done nothing for You: neither have I said conscious prayers, nor performed works of charity, nor any works at all . . . . I have not even been able to control that childish impatience and those foolish rancours which so often occupy the place that should be Your's in the "no-man's-land" of my emotions. It is in vain that I promise You to do better. I shall be no different tomorrow, nor on the day that follows.

When I retrace the course of my life, I am overwhelmed by the same impression of inadequacy. I have sought You in prayer, and in service of my neighbor,. . . . But in seeking You, do I not find myself? Do I not wish to satisfy myself? Those works that I secretly termed good and saintly, dissolve in the light of approaching eternity . . . .Even actual suffering brings me no joy because I bear them so badly.Perhaps we are all like this: incapable of discerning anything but our own wretchedness and our own despairing cowardice before the Light of the beyond that waxes on our horizon.

But, it may be O Lord, that this impression of privation is part of a divine plan. It may be that in Your eyes, self-complacency is the most obnoxious of all fripperies, and that we must come before You naked so that You, You alone, may clothe us.
The Soul Afire - Marguerite Teilhard de Chardin, foundress of Union of the sick in France, 1930.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Happiness is an inside job

Happiness is an inside job
We are happy if we are grateful and loving
not because everyone else fulfills our every need