Christians often forget the depth of God’s love as presented to us in Jesus Christ. He told his Apostles, and tells us today, “That to see me, is to see the Father”. It is a hard reality to grasp. It is for me. All the years as a monk I have struggled with this central mystery of Christ Jesus’s revelation of the Father’s love for each of us. It is because my heart is protected. I fear the pain that love brings, yet I seek to dive more deeply into it. So there is an inner contradiction that I experience that can only be healed by the grace of the Father’s burning love. There is a standing invitation to allow ourselves to be drawn into the eternal dance of the ‘Holy Trinity’, which will never be withdrawn from God’s side.
The paradox to this is that in order to fully allow God’s love to embrace me, I have to grow in the understanding of my inner-self and the often not so beautiful aspect of that. I can be fearful, that leads to anger, which at bottom, anxiety is feeding it all. I am 69 years old and at this stage of my life, finally starting to open up and to trust in God love for me. It has taken many self-inflicted wounds, the experiencing of my own self-hatred, and alienation, that has slowly healed me.
For in my darkest hour, when filled with my own misery and isolation, the light of God’s love has always broken through. I have accepted the fact that I am pursued by God, and that God will never let me go. Yet I am free and have had to make a choice to trust even when drowning in my own misery. For it is all lies, that I am beyond help, or healing, or mercy. We are all vessels of God’s love and each of us is called to allow Christ Jesus to incarnate in each of us. Our capacity to receive God’s love grows as we continue to grow in love and trust. When I pray I now feel my connection to every human being who are on their journey towards healing and deeper intimacy with God, for we are all one in Christ Jesus.
In the book “In Sinu Jesu”, Jesus speaks to a Benedictine Monk of his love for each of us, and in a special way, for the priest, and how that love is manifested in his abiding presence in the Holy Eucharist. As a Catholic, I can take the reality of Christ Jesus’s Eucharistic presence for granted. This book can open up anyone’s heart to the infinite depth of God’s love for each of us, without exception.
Karl Rahner stated that ‘private revelations’, are given to the church at different points in time because it is needed. It is not a new revelation but stated in terms that can be understood by people in certain eras. Today, love has seemed to have grown cold, or colder. So we need to be reminded of the Fathers infinite love for each of us.
On Tuesday, January 26th, 20 10 (pg. 139) Jesus relayed this message to the Benedictine monk:
“Do you not see how much I have been calling you to trust in me? Trust is the key that opens all the treasures of My merciful and infinitely loving Heart. I am touched by a single act of trust in My merciful love more than by a multitude of good works. The soul who trusts in Me allows Me to work freely in her life. The soul who trust Me, by that very fact removes the obstacles of pride and self-determination that impede My freedom of action. There is nothing I will not do for the soul who abandons herself to me in a simple act of trust”.
Either ‘fear’ or ‘trust’ is growing in the soul. The more we love, fear will lessen. The opposite is also true. The more we believe ‘fear’, then ‘trust’ will weaken. Fear is a form of self-absorption, trust is letting go of being overly concerned about one’s self and seeking to grow deeper in intimacy with the beloved.
As Christian we are called to be lovers, to show forth Christ infinite love for all. When that is forgotten, then fear, and anxiety, and anger will come to the fore. That is how we protect ourselves from others, we place barriers. It is only by the healing of our inner defenses, which we receive through Jesus Christ, that we can let go of fear. It is not something we can do on our own, yet we can make a free choice to trust and in that God’s healing love will flow through us.
There is nothing that can stop God loving us, yet we can choose to turn our backs on that reality. Each day is a new beginning. Each moment even. For no matter where we find ourselves, there is always a way out through the merciful love of Christ Jesus. We stop being victims and can step forward in hope and faith and love. –Br.MD (Mark Dohle)
